To Serve My Country

Before Gov. Rod Blagojevich appointed Roland Burris to fill the vacant U.S. Senate seat of President-Elect Barack Obama, Senators, like Democratic leader Harry Reid, said they would not recognize anyone the Tainted Gov. appointed to the seat. They would not let the appointee in the Senate, they wouldn't give him the oath of office, they wouldn't so much as give the appintee the time of day. Now that he has named the unremarkable but untainted Roland Burris to the seat, they may have to change their tune. Who knew the crazy corrupt governor would actually go ahead and name someone to fill the Senate seat and that someone would be crazy enough to accept the appointment, after the criminal complaint was made public and no one, whether senator, pundit or voter, would take seriously the work of anyone who'd actually accept the office from Blagojevich?

Since 1) Burris has not been implicated in any of Blagojevich's shenanigan and he's widely held to be a clean politician and 2) is an African-American, the Senate can't really bar him from the place if he shows up to take his place, as he has said he intends to do.

So what to do? Put me at the door. Are you listening Sen. Reid? Sen. Durbin? Do you see the picture alongside this post? That's me. You may know me as a blogger/reporter perhaps future spokesman for a U.S. Senator ;) but before I was any of these things I was a doorman (please don't call us 'bouncers' that's vulgar and only invites bad behavior on the part of guests) for a swingin' joint in the Uptown neighborhood here in Chicago. In addition to telling people when it was their turn to leave, whether or not it was last call or they had finished their drinks, and keeping an eye on the crowd, I often told people they weren't going to get in that evening. Whether they were too drunk to get in or it was already last call or I just didn't like the looks of them, I had no problem at all keeping people out of the place I was charged with keeping control of. I've had people give me the sad faces and tell me their friends were inside or girls try to flirt with me or guys wave cash in front of me just so they could get in the bar, and none of that had any effect on me and none of them got in.

So, you see, to me there is no difference between the douchebag white former frat boy Vince Vaughn wannabes telling me at 10 minutes to closing that they will only stay for as long as it takes to down four shots and "don't you want our money?" while waving $20s or $50s in front of me and the hapless yet ambitious black politician who would presume to say "I have been legally appointed! The people deserve two senators!" In either case I would keep looking straight ahead, shake my head that they are not getting in and tell them when needed to get out of the way of the people leaving the bar/Senate chambers. And if he didn't get out of the way after closing time or if he dared step a foot inside the door, I'd gently but firmly explain that this was a non-negotiable matter, with my arms crossed, hands under the biceps, to make them look bigger. (Boy, sometimes i miss those days. But not that often.)