Thursday, February 5, 2009

Big Wheels


This surely should be the subject of a post sometime in the future when I have more time to devote to the writing and the thinking for it, but the question that has come up recently (like in the past couple years) for me, is, 'My God, what's going on with me? What's happening? What sort of strange transformation is taking place? I'm having these strange, alien, uncontrollable lustful feelings I've not felt for these particular objects of affection before, ever. Does it mean I'm becoming a different person, a la Bill Bixby turning into a green giant Lou Ferrigno?

I speak, here, of what I've been feeling when I look at and think about some ... automobiles. Like the Nissan Rogue, the Pontiac Vibe, the Mercedes GLK, the Landrover, the Mazda 3 and the Lincoln Mark VI (OK, I kid about that last one. It was big among my family when I was growing up and I will use any excuse to use Roman numerals). I am not a 'gearhead.' I don't know what goes on inside the guts of automobiles. I can change a tire, have never changed my own oil (except for that ill-advised Vespa I owned in college, geez, what a mess that was in so many ways) and most importantly, people who have had a close relationship with cars since their youth and know much more about them than me live (in oh, so many ways) in an entirely different world than me, and never, ever, except for when my car needs fixin', will our worlds meet.

Still, I get really, for lack of a better term, turned on by certain cars (such as the above-mentioned models). It's almost a sexual sort of feeling. The zippy, nimble Mazda3 hatchback has a sexy look to it -- look at it from a certain angle and you'd swear it's winking at you. Models such as the Vibe, Toyota Matrix, and small SUVs like the GLK are, well, quite versatile. And living through and dealing with yet another Chicago winter makes one dream of getting in a nice, warm, muscular, welcoming SUV/car crossover like the Rogue or GLK, and seeing that snow pile up gives fuel -- pun intended -- to the thought of how easy it would be to tackle those natural and manmade snow drifts in a tough, yet refined Landrover.

Pictured here is the 2010 Mercedes GLK. It's Benz's new model, their late to the party entry to the small, urban SUV market. And it's sexy as hell.

1 comment:

Stephen Rader said...

I can't remember who it was, but there was a comedienne years ago who repeated a famous cigarette commercial. It went something like...

"So round, so firm, so fully packed. So free and (exhale) easy on the draw."

Even thought she was making fun of how sexual the commercial was, it made me horny for a cigarette for the first time in my life!

And after reading this post, I feel the same way about cars!!! So hot!!!

If you read somewhere that I was arrested for causing a "disturbance" at a car dealership this coming weekend, you'll know exactly where my new fetish for "new car interior" began!! :)