Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Call Me Cuddles

I have a one track mind, and often that track is heading straight into the gutter (though I'm looking up at the stars from there). I got the Angel Tails magazine today from PAWS Chicago, the wonderful no-kill animal rescue shelter. There were interesting stories in there about people who have pit bulls and how they are really great dogs with a bad image because of some rotten people doing rotten things to them, there's a story about the Chicago Police Department's Canine Unit, there are, of course, pleas for donations and volunteers, and brief items on the latest and coolest toys and accessories for your dogs and cats. Oh, and there are loads of pictures of the cutest puppies and kittens!

Then there is a listing, with pictures, of those who have given donations to PAWS in memory of companion animals [I'm so PC] who have died this past year. I have to say, though I'm unable to remember that formula for picking out your porn name, that some of the pups and kitties names -- their names plus their owners' last names, which is a bit weird in its own right, sound downright like, well, if not porn monikers, then stripper names.

Don't believe me? Well, what does "Cuddles Dominguez" sound like to you? "Lady Martha?" "Max Bloodworth?" (OK, that's more a porn name). "Lakota Conroy?" How about "Hawkeye Damolaris?" (Though he should shorten the last name.) How about "Smokee Hoovert?" "Ace and Chip Jellnick" (twins? extra naughty) "Harrison Hardy?" "Golden Boy?" (Oh, c'mon, "Golden Boy?" How cruel could those pet owners be?)

OK, OK, still unconvinced? Alright, I give you ... "Fauna McNear."

Rest in Peace, all.

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